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first time in a long time

It's been a while since I've been taken by pet names, restless nights, boasting about back-home sweethearts, and being content with distance.
We make things work.  And for the first time in years, I feel my guard being let down.  I don't keep up blocks about who I am, what I represent, and what I want.  I can actually feel comfortable with someone enough to be me.  I never though it was good enough, but she makes it different. 

I'm not just happy for now, like I'd been in the past.  I'll be the first to admit that I've dated and been half hearted.  I'm reminded of that death cab for cutie song, "I once knew a girl, in the years of my youth, with eyes like the summer: all beauty and truth.  But in the morning I fled, left a note and it read, 'some day you will be loved'".  Because I know that in the past I've dated people I was originally smitten with, but didn't put anything into the relationship.  I've only once been told, "I can't figure you out, you're so mysterious".  And it wasn't mysterious like in a cool way.  It meant I was keeping things to myself.  

But now.  Now I actually feel like I am in a relationship.  Not just dating a girl.  I actually have a girlfriend who I adore.  And unlike my past, I'm not just taken in by the summer-love sort of thing.  We haven't even had summer 'together' yet.  And yet, she reminds me of all things July.  This will be a good summer. 



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September 2009
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