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autumn on the east coast

Fall is here. 
I could see my breath when I took Kevin out for a walk.
Kevin is my roommates dog.

I find myself, despite the expanse of work in front of me, side tracked by sideways glances, not-yet-falling leaves, hurried school bound feet, and other comings of cooler weather.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for it.  Someone told me recently that I look too hard for reasons to be unhappy in autumn.  Maybe.  But, why?  Why do I dislike such a short lived season.  It really comes and goes.  But I think it's her, Autumn's, nature and methods that put me off so.  

It doesn't need to be so abrupt.  Summer comes slowly with anticipation and expectancy.  Autumn is quick and bitter, before revealing her true intention of unveiling colder days, and longer, blue-black sky nights. 

I find myself writing the most in the fall.  Despite being my busiest; I find a pen in my hand, and a note book on a table, desk, lap in front of me.  

And yet, I won't move to a season-less part of the world.  For someone who hates the passing of the seasons as I seem, why wouldn't I go.  LA? Nashville?  Both are music towns...

Maybe it's because I actually do like Autumn.  Some of my best memories are from the fall.  Some of my worst.  But always transitional and pinnacle in the shifting of life themes.  

Minnesota has my heart.  We'll see what the east coast has to say. 

wowzers

My summer is going by too quickly.  But a few things have occurred to me. 
1) Boston totally rules.  I'm finding things I love about this town on a weekly basis.  
2) I still miss mpls like crazy though
3) I'm taking steps to becoming a professional musician, which still makes me crazy.
4) Regarding the above- I'm playing a show in NYC in a few weeks, it's weird to say that.
5) Also, I'm recording an album with the most beautiful and talented woman ever.  And I get to call her my girlfriend.  It's a bit intense to think about, but to have a bond with with someone that transcends the typical 'relationship', is sort of terrific.  And she'll be in town to record more piano tracks, edit more of the old stuff, and otherwise spend romantical times with me next week!  super exciting. 
(back on task)
6) Biking in boston kicks my ass daily, but it's so much more invigorating than typical mpls riding.  I ride alone, for now, but I need to ride with more people.  
7) my shop totally kicks ass
8) NACCC is going to be in my town!
9) summer is still progressing nicely. 

seasonal transition

I find myself again, at the crux of two seasons.  
I find myself again, at a tipping point of emotions, on a strange multi-limbed teeter-totter.  
I feel need for personal connection, yet feel it from no one.   I am dismissed.  
Spring time, for once, is leaving me wishing winter was still here, so I had reason to curl up under the covers, and stay in bed.  
I want to steal glances over brims of tea cups at a dark cafe.
I want to laugh at the same things, for the same reasons.
I want to laugh under covers, and dance in inappropriate public places.
I want to hold hands.


first time in a long time

It's been a while since I've been taken by pet names, restless nights, boasting about back-home sweethearts, and being content with distance.
We make things work.  And for the first time in years, I feel my guard being let down.  I don't keep up blocks about who I am, what I represent, and what I want.  I can actually feel comfortable with someone enough to be me.  I never though it was good enough, but she makes it different. 

I'm not just happy for now, like I'd been in the past.  I'll be the first to admit that I've dated and been half hearted.  I'm reminded of that death cab for cutie song, "I once knew a girl, in the years of my youth, with eyes like the summer: all beauty and truth.  But in the morning I fled, left a note and it read, 'some day you will be loved'".  Because I know that in the past I've dated people I was originally smitten with, but didn't put anything into the relationship.  I've only once been told, "I can't figure you out, you're so mysterious".  And it wasn't mysterious like in a cool way.  It meant I was keeping things to myself.  

But now.  Now I actually feel like I am in a relationship.  Not just dating a girl.  I actually have a girlfriend who I adore.  And unlike my past, I'm not just taken in by the summer-love sort of thing.  We haven't even had summer 'together' yet.  And yet, she reminds me of all things July.  This will be a good summer. 
I keep having throwbacks to summers past.
Puddles for summer jumping I find in January, I wish I could save them for June in Minneapolis.
Corn bread and lime sodas, organic if I can get it.  The taste is of July, and with her. 
I sip at local coffee shops, but 1400 miles away.  
Eating thai food alone, watching 3 brothers journey reminds me of August.  
Skids through town in the rain, but it's January, she would like this.
And yet I can't find the winter comforts I'm used to.  
There is no gunpowder tea in this city.  Wasn't there a party at one time?  Maybe thats it.
I'm a summer person, living it out in an east coast winter.  

first day of class, last day of simple

Today was the first day of school. 
I'm making steps in putting my feet forward toward being a professional musician.
A professional musician.  Weird.  
It's not like I'm expecting my name in lights, on t.v., whatever.  
But I do feel like I will actually make something of myself.  
Scary.
plus, I have a new job.  At a bike shop again.  Back to what I know I guess, for the time being.

glasses? La-t-dah!

I went to a glasses store in the financial district of downtown Boston today.  It went like:

Glam beyond WOAH!  I actually needed to be buzzed in the front door, like a gem store or some shit.  And dudes were all up like "WTF? Dirtball?"  And I was all like, "dig the rimz on m'face right now! IC Berlin's mh'fucka.  I know what I roll, so do you.  So DIG!"
And dude 1 was all up in his card stack, "My name is Upper Class, what's yours, how can II help you?" That is, once he realized what the FUCK was UP!
I says, "Names S. Mai Dee, what the fuck you think my name is bitch?  IT'S BOB MO-FUCKIN-BEAHEN!"
And dude 2 was sayin, "what, who? no way!"
I nodded, "(duh!)"
So, chumps know I got the fundz to buy me some frames to play for keeps, and I'll be back to claim!  Dig once I gets the Dutch to hold the glass, for fact!

czech, what.

whoops

I also just accidentally stole my roommates toothpaste.  In actuality, I just grabbed his as opposed to mine when I left the bathroom this morning.

But...

-1 Bob.

boston, ahoy

I'm officially moved in to my new place in Boston.  Actually, I live in Brighton.  But it was explained to me, "if you call the cops, Boston P.D. shows up, so, it's Boston".

Who calls the police?  I've decided to live by Omerta.  I figure, I'm this close to the Irish Mob, it's not too far to Italian Mob.  And Omerta sounds baddass.  Look it up.

On an unrelated note: throat is soar, head is achey. 
Which reminds me, I'm missing a girl.  I didn't think I'd actually be pseudo mopey about it, but I am.  It's no use sleeping in a cold bed if you can't torture someone else with your cold feet.  Now....it's just a cold bed.  But long distance dates hold promise of mega-adorable-ness.  yup.

I think I'm going to order a pizza, watch some Arrested Development (watched my first episode yesterday), and maybe hang out with Nick and Jeremiah.  

I'll have pics and pics soon enough.  word.

walmarts, packing, and cleaning

It hit me last night that I'm leaving on Friday for an indefinite amount of time.  Maybe I'll be back for summers, maybe not.  I have no idea what my schedule for school or work will look like.  Don't get me started on money...

I have a lot to do, and a short amount of time to do it.  But I usually work well under pressure (I tell myself, unconvinced).

Today will be a gauge of how the rest of my week will go.